Top 3 Setbacks When Trying to Stop Over-drinking or Losing Weight

February 11, 2022
Author: Angela Mascenik

**I’ve gathered the top 3 set setbacks people have when they are working on stopping over-drinking and losing weight.**

Knowing these are common setbacks will help you notice if you are in a setback and will help you get out of it faster.

Set back #1: You have an over-drink.

Now, you might think that the over-drink IS the set back. BUT, what is the actual set back is what you do AFTER the over-drink. It’s less about the over-drink itself and MORE about what you think about it.

Thoughts like: Here I go again. I’m so sick of this. Why can’t I stop?  Why can’t I follow through? I must have a more serious problem. Fuck it. This week is already ruined.

 These thoughts lead to feelings of shame and frustration, which drives more drinking, and avoiding, not telling the truth to yourself, delays in doing what you want to do with alcohol, like abstaining, or limiting, solving the underlying issues like figuring out what happened that lead to the drinking in the first place, and feeling stuck or like you are going backwards.

You can be in this setback for many days, constantly saying you won’t drink today or you’ll start tomorrow and not drink for x many days in a row. You are noticeably frustrated with yourself, but sory of bypass these feelings by distracting yourself, drinking at night, scrolling, watching too much TV, not doing things that you want to be doing like exercising, eating well, and following through on your commitments to yourself.

How to move out of this set back:
Go write down all your thoughts about what is going on. If you are drawing a blank, answer these questions in your journal: 

- What feels hard about not drinking today?
- What do I think caused that over-drink on ____ day?
- What can I think today that will help me feel dedicated to figuring this out?
- What am I willing and able to do today that will move me up and out of this setback?

Now, make a plan for today. Write down your plan for today if you will drink or not. And continue making a drink plan/not drink plan and work on following through on it. Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. Tell yourself you can follow this plan today.

Set back #2 Getting on the Scale
Weighing yourself and not seeing the # that you hope for can cause a huge setback.
Especially if you have:

• No weight loss
• Not enough weight loss
• Weight gain

It’s NOT the number on the scale that causes the setback just like it’s not the over-drink that causes the set back. 
It’s your THOUGHTS about it: like it not being enough or how you are going backward, you are a fraud, you can’t do it, nothing is working, you’ve been doing everything right and still didn’t lose. Or you might as well eat all the things cuz it doesn’t matter, you’ll start again Monday, next month or never.

These thoughts lead to feelings of frustration, sadness, and disappointment, which causes actions like more overeating, fuck its, and delays to doing what you actually want to do with food, like planning, eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are satisfied not stuffed, not exercising, not drinking enough water, not getting enough sleep, over watching TV, not weighing yourself, avoiding looking at what happened or the data that led to the number on the scale, exploring why you are using food to make your life better.

How to move out of this set back:

Go write down all your thoughts about what is going on. If you are drawing a blank, answer these questions in your journal:
- What am I feeling about my weight?
- What do I think about my weight or my body this week?
- What feels hard about not overeating today?
- What do I think caused the number on the scale to go up/down/stay the same?
- What can I think today that will help me feel dedicated to figuring this out?
- What am I willing and able to do today that will move me up and out of this setback?

Now, make a food plan for today. Write down what you will eat  for today (without DIET RULES) Just write down what you want to eat today, without judgment or worrying about calories and carbs. And continue making a food plan everyday and work on following through. And when you don’t hit that plan 100% ask yourself why, what happened, how was I feeling, so you can be aware. We repeat the same patterns over and over again. Be willing to get aware of your patterns so that you can make subtle changes to interrupt the patterns you don’t like and establish the patterns you do like.

  Set back #3 Feeling blah
You might think the setback is causing the blah feelings.

Again it’s not about feeling blah, it’s about what you are thinking about feeling this way.

Thoughts like: Why do I feel this way? I don’t know what’s wrong with me? I’m so unmotivated. I’m falling apart. I hate feeling this way. I feel like shit. I’m all alone, no one understands or feels like this.

These thoughts create feelings of malaise, sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, and loneliness.

And these feelings cause overeating, drinking, not exercising, not figuring out what is the source of your blahness, avoiding, hiding, scrolling, oversleeping, not drinking enough water, not taking care of yourself the way you want to.

How to move out of this set back:

Go write down all your thoughts about how you are feeling. If you are drawing a blank, answer these questions in your journal:
- What am I feeling about my emotional state right now?
- What do I think about my mental health?
- What feels hard about doing things today that would be helpful for me?
- What do I think caused these feelings? Did something happen recently when I noticed I started feeling this way?
- Can I allow myself to feel this way without judgment?
- How can I work on accepting these feelings and not think of them as a problem?

Now, just remember that the feelings you are having are vibrations in your body. Try to describe how they feel, and breathe into them. Notice that your thoughts about how you feel will make these feelings you have worse or not. Telling yourself you are ok even when you feel this way is the step in the right direction.

Remind yourself there are things you can do even when you feel this way.

Make a list of some things that would be helpful for you to do right now, today. Even if they are super small like drinking 64 ozs of water, getting outside for 10 minutes, journaling, or just admitting out loud you are having feelings you don’t like.

Sometimes turning on your favorite song and moving your body to it is all it takes to move you through this. Sometimes it lasts for a couple days. The more you can accept and love yourself here, the faster you will move out of the set back.

And remember that you are a human being who has many feelings and we are all supposed to feel bad sometimes. This might be your time. It’s ok, nothing has gone wrong. Also, talking to someone is really helpful. Verbalizing how you feel and exploring your feelings is therapeutic and healing. Talk to a friend, spiritual advisor, coach, or therapist. Your mental well being is important!

I hope this helps!

And of course, having a coach who can help you identify when you are having a set back and help you move through it is invaluable. Support WHILE you are in a setback will help you get back on track much faster.

Remember, setbacks are NORMAL. It’s what you do when you are experiencing them and how long you allow them to go on, will determine how fast you get to your goals.

If you want consistent support especially when you feel like you are going backwards, get yourself a spot in Alive AF!
www.angelamascenik.com/aliveaf

XO, Angela