Day 19, 30 Days of Sober Sunrises

Day 19, Wednesday, July 17th, 5:50 am

Soft pink, dark grey blue, high wind, strong waves.

It feels so comforting and settling to be be back here. It's instant relief and comfort and feels like it just makes sense.

The wind and the waves are quieting my mind and softening the intensity of my thoughts.

Doing yoga stretches on the sand and touching the beach and digging my fingers in and connecting with the earth's energy was very grounding.

Oh I am so glad I decided to come back.

And Michelle Barry Franco is here.

The birds are up fishing, flying, living.

The sun is doing her job well this morning.

Very serene and soft and gentle on the horizon a slow easy rise to start the day.

Soft orange, peachy color change just behind the clouds.

Feeling relieved, comforted and relaxed. 

Just observing the sensations I am feeling right now, noticing and noting what I am seeing and that's it.

Spaciousness and peace in my mind and I'm so, so, so, thankful for this moment.

The waves are dark grayish turquoise and they are rolling in like a long swoosh.

Michelle Barry Franco: 'It's not even trying' [to be this spectacular and beautiful].

Oracle: For Tina, Ancient Oak Spirit, Strength
You are wise and strong beyond measure. Stand firm and rooted where you are. 

My take away from this card is we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for and so are the people in your world, trust their strength too.

Update: Since leaving the beach last Thursday and going home to Chapel Hill, I have woken up and been outside before dawn, on my porch, observing the sky change, hearing the birds wake up, observing and reflecting on this wild ride of life, for everyday but one.

I did not write about these mornings, but glad I called on my daily practice to get me through those very difficult days and gave myself the gift of waking up easy and letting nature awaken my senses slowly before the decisions, outside inputs and heavy thoughts and feelings take over for the day.

I can tell you from 100% certainty, alcohol wouldn't help me deal with this time at all. It would only compound the negative thoughts and feelings, amplifying the 'what if's,' 'blame,' 'anger' and more.

I'm so thankful I am willing to just be with the pure grief and all the feelings associated with it. 

Never have I thought or even had a suggestion that drinking would help.

I am so thankful for my tools that I heavily relied on during this time. The ability to be with my feelings, express them, process them, verbalize them. They come in and they go out. I am able to find moments and chunks of joy, peace, and even laughter with my family. This is the gift that keeps on giving and I'll be forever grateful I learned these skills.

Highly recommend you do whatever you can to learn how so that when you are faced with an unimaginable tragedy, you can move through it as easily as one can.

Stay strong.

xo, 

Angela Mascenik
www.angelamascenik.com/aliveaf
Stop Over-drinking and Start Living Podcast
Certified Stop Over-drinking Coach
🌅 🌅 🌅 🌅

About the 30 days of Sober Sunrise Project:

These entries are dedicated to my 6th year of living an alcohol-free life. I have discovered that I love sunrises in my new life. So, I decided to do a writing project of documenting 30-days of sober sunrises over the Atlantic ocean. I rented a house within walking distance to Carolina Beach to make this happen. My family and a few friends will be rotating in and out during this time.

I have no agenda or goal about the outcome. I am curious and fascinated about what might happen.

But most importantly, I just happy that I gave myself the chance for this to even be possible. I am thankful for every person who has helped me get here, past and present, good and bad. They all played a role and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't the experiences in my life (even all the excessive drinking) before this very moment. Let's see what happens! 

[Scroll down and CLICK 'Back to Blog List' below to read the previous entries]