Day 27, 30 Days of Sober Sunrises

Day 27, Thursday, July 25th, 5:45 am

Wow, huge dark almost black storm cloud coming in fast winds picking up, there isn't a soul out here, it's kind of scary and so I am leaving...

Walked back to house and of course got caught in a big storm, heavy rain, thunder and lighting. 

I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, except my little dog Toto (Jackie Pooh) wasn't with me!

Did I have a big huge agenda for my final beach sunrise?

You bet I did. I was hoping for the most gorgeous one yet, loads of vibrant colors, dark pinks and oranges, but of course that didn't happen.

Instead I get a grand finale in the other direction! Lighting, looming dangerous clouds, rain, and thunder!

Sometimes you can prepare and visualize and the outcome you want and it just doesn't go your way. 

This is life. This is the journey of changing your relationship with alcohol.

You know, when you get your mind all sorted out, you journal, you get coaching, you share your intentions with your friends about coming to a party and staying alcohol free?

And then you get there and it's so uncomfortable you want to crawl out of your skin, you feel awkward, no one is talking to you and you feel like you don't belong at all... and you have a couple of choices.

You can walk over to the drinks, pour a big one, drink it, and chill the f out or you can leave.

Well, the best option in my opinion is to leave, seek shelter!

Could I have stayed and rode out the storm on the beach, yes. Would I have died, likely not. 

Was that good for me or would it do anything for me? No. It would just be uncomfortable and miserable for the sake of 'sticking it out.' NO THANKS.

We don't need to do that to ourselves. It's already uncomfortable being out there alone at the beach at 5:45 and being the only person in sight and a big black storm cloud rolling in. Same thing for going to a party sober. It's already uncomfortable (at first, it does get way better, please trust me!) and you don't need to add more discomfort. You did it, you showed up, you did the work to get yourself there, you came, you saw, you can leave, next time maybe you'll stay a little longer.

Today's final beach sunrise was a bit disappointing, but I'm not disappointed in myself or this experience at all. It was so classically typical of the universe, haha, yup, I get it, thanks!

Of course, my final morning would be like this, I mean it's almost predictable. I was actually laughing to myself as I was walking back in the rain about it. 

Life is really funny if you allow it to be. It's a big fat daily joke. We think we know what will happen and every single day, we get surprised. We get phone calls from people we didn't know would call us. We get news from family and friends about things we didn't know. We get sick unexpectedly.  We laugh unexpectedly. We get upset about the littlest things. People say really stupid things all the time and it shocks us. Why does it shock us? People are weird. Humans are weird and fragile and then also resilient and strong and can create and do hard things.

Be open to it all, laugh at your own crazy humanness. Laugh at the storm that ruined your sunrise. Just roll on the floor and laugh or even cry if you want.

Thanks Carolina Beach for hosting me for this epic project. I am leaving earlier than I planned to spend a few days at home to be with my husband and family before my next adventure to Seattle where I will lead my Sober Nature Retreat for 7 women who have said YES to adventure and fun!

I will still be up before the sun the last 3 days, don't worry. It's my regular everyday practice anyway. I hope you try it sometime. Let nature wake you up and see what happens in your life, I bet you will be surprised!

Until my next crazy idea, friends, to da loo!

xo,

Angela

Angela Mascenik
www.angelamascenik.com/aliveaf
Stop Over-drinking and Start Living Podcast
Certified Stop Over-drinking Coach
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About the 30 days of Sober Sunrise Project:

These entries are dedicated to my 6th year of living an alcohol-free life. I have discovered that I love sunrises in my new life. So, I decided to do a writing project of documenting 30-days of sober sunrises over the Atlantic ocean. I rented a house within walking distance to Carolina Beach to make this happen. My family and a few friends will be rotating in and out during this time.

I have no agenda or goal about the outcome. I am curious and fascinated about what might happen.

But most importantly, I just happy that I gave myself the chance for this to even be possible. I am thankful for every person who has helped me get here, past and present, good and bad. They all played a role and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't the experiences in my life (even all the excessive drinking) before this very moment. Let's see what happens! 

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